


Philtre

by GintaxAlvissforever



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Sexual Situations, Byleth is oblivious but not that oblivious, F/M, Horny Teenagers, Humor, Implied Relationships, Innuendo, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Manuela is horny on main, Secret Crush, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-11 14:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19929403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GintaxAlvissforever/pseuds/GintaxAlvissforever
Summary: Manuela made a love potion with the intention of Byleth to fall in love with her. Of course, she messed up somewhere down the line of making it so when she tricks him into drinking it, the potion doesn’t make him fall in love with the first person he sees. It makes anyone who has even the slightest crush on him want to get in his pants.





	Philtre

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pre-release story but even if it doesn’t get finished in time, I think there’s enough leeway where it won’t really matter too much since this is rather light humored. 
> 
> Like other stories, both genders of Byleth are used. Byleth is male, Beth is female. 
> 
> Philtre is another word for potion but often used to refer to a love potion.

It wasn't a hidden secret that a certain teacher had the hots for another. Manuela somehow went on with her life without being able to romance another man. As she got older, the chances of her being with someone lowered. That wouldn't stop her. Before she retired as a teacher, she was determined to get in bed with another man.

And then the Goddess gave her one last chance. The return of Jeralt to the Garreg Monastery and the Knights of Seiros was nothing short of a blessing. Jeralt had two children, both of them stunning on the eyes. Manuela had her sight set on Jeralt's son, Byleth. He was a man of few words, unlike his younger twin sister, Beth. It was difficult to determine what he was thinking about. But that wouldn't stop Manuela from telling Byleth straight out she was available. Jeralt was far from pleased.

Jeralt being an overprotective father wasn't actually a problem. It was the fact that Byleth didn't understand what she meant when the former songstress said she was available. He honestly thought that she meant that he could go to her for advice if he needed it. That hurt her pride. Younger men would have jumped at the chance with her. Byleth was different, and it only made Manuela want him even more.

Manuela had managed to befriend Beth despite showing interest in her older twin. Beth was as easy-going as they came and Manuela enjoyed having a drinking buddy after a long day. When it came to talking about Byleth, Beth wasn't all that helpful. She laughed at the idea of anyone dating her brother because he was so oblivious.

"Father never has to worry about Brother because he doesn't know the first thing about sex!" Beth had giggled when the two girls were drinking after hours. "Brother will still be single by the time I'm married with at least three kids!"

Beth failed to understand why Manuela's pride hurt a little from those words. It didn't matter how beautiful or blunt you were. Apparently, Byleth's mind was that of a child's and couldn't register anything romantic. Without a sex drive, Byleth was another strike out for her. But Manuela refused to give up! No! She had a plan that would make Byleth fall for her.

She would probably get in trouble for what she was going to do but if she got the guy, then a scolding from Rhea would be worth it! The plan was simple. Thomas had showed her a book hidden in the library about how to make a love potion. It was hidden to avoid anyone trying to exploit it, but there was no point in burning the book. It was odd that Tomas kept a book that could be abused, but Manuela wasn't complaining.

The potion's recipe wasn't that hard. She just needed to make it in the kitchen and hope no one important noticed the book she was using. The instruction manual was a long list of what not to do but Manuela believed cutting corners was possible.

Brewing the potion was the easy part...even though it took most of the day to make it. The hard part was attempting to get Byleth in the same room as her without arousing his suspicion the next day. The young teal haired professor wouldn't think she was trying to seduce him. He would theorize some other reason instead.

There were so many factors contributing to the plan not working. The potion needed to be taken within a day, which didn't give her much time at all. The dark red color of the potion made it look like fine wine. Manuela learned from Beth that her brother resented the idea of drinking so serving the potion as wine would not cut it. However, if Manuela put the potion in a tea cup, it would be easier to convince him otherwise.

The timing needed to be perfect. Because it was the weekend, there would be no class for the teachers to teach. Byleth's schedule was rather consistent. If he wasn't fishing at the docks, he would be in the dining hall cooking a new recipe.

Manuela needed to check the clock. How long would Byleth be around before he moved to the next location? The only time he might change his schedule was if one of his students asked to spend the day with him. It happened often. On first glance, most of the students looked like they wanted to continue learning. However, Manuela knew that at least three of the Golden Deer students were infatuated with Byleth just like her. She refused to lose to anyone younger than her!

Eight in the morning, Byleth was in the dining hall. There weren't that many students this early on the weekends. Byleth however was in the kitchen with a cookbook in front of him. The teal haired teacher wasn't much of a breakfast person according to his sister, but that didn't mean he wouldn't make a feast. If Byleth was here in the morning, he was probably considering what to make for dinner. In a few minutes, Byleth would be visited by two members of the Blue Lions who were often in the kitchen with him. Before they showed up, Manuela needed to get his attention.

"Good morning, Byleth!"

Byleth jumped at the sudden noise hitting his ear but didn't turn around. Manuela glared at the back of his head before approaching.

"Hello, Professor Manuela…" Byleth responded back. She needed to remember that Byleth wasn't good at human interaction and would have expected her to just walk past him.

"I see you're already planning a meal for the school," Manuela hummed. "What's on the menu?" She asked this as she tried to get in between him and the book. It wasn't happening.

"I do not know yet," Byleth admitted. "I do not have enough fish for what I want to do. But I can make do without a fish meal for once…"

He didn't exactly acknowledge the attractive teacher in front of him. His eyes remained glued to the book. Manuela wanted to yank the book away from him, but noticed something. Byleth had dark rings under his eyes. He must have pulled an all-nighter to grade papers (no thanks to Beth).

"How about you take a break?" Manuela suggested.

"I will be fine. I could not waste your time."

"No, I insist. I made tea."

She needed to be quick on snatching her target. Byleth's expression didn't change despite the suggestion.

"You will not mind the intrusion?" Byleth questioned.

 _Got him._ Manuela thought to herself. "Uh-huh. We can talk about the students and other subjects. I won't keep you long. Trust me."

It's not that Byleth didn't trust her. If she was correct, Byleth might have been in the dining room for most of the early morning with no real progress. Sometimes, Byleth would just read the entire cookbook before making a decision. If he didn't get a wink of sleep, then the process would take longer...meaning she could serve him the love potion and nail him before breakfast.

Byleth inserted a bookmark into the cookbook before closing it. He left it on the desk for someone (most likely Annette) to use.

"I will apologize in advance," Byleth told her. He tried to smile but it didn't look good when forced. "Please, lead the way, Professor Manuela."

Manuela couldn't contain her excitement when Byleth agreed to speak with her alone in her room. With how she worded it, he assumed she wanted to talk about his teaching methods and what he could do to improve on.

So as long as he didn't pay too much attention to the tea's color...it should be fine.

"Professor Manuela," Byleth said as he walked into her room, "Am I allowed to ask you something?"

Manuela eyed him weirdly. "Mmmhmm. Go ahead, my dear."

Byleth originally wanted to stand up but Manuela insisted on sitting in one of the chairs. The tea was already made with only Byleth's cup containing the potion.

"I was debating on letting my students relax on their studies," Byleth began. "Knowing my sister, she would not want me to use the upcoming week for something I enjoy doing. However, I truly believe that culinary skills are equally important as is combat. Without being able to determine what is safe to eat in the wilderness, I fear that some of my students will die."

Byleth frowned, imagining how the nobles in the Golden Deers would handle themselves outside of battle. They were so used to everything being done for them that sometimes, he felt like he had to twist their arm to do anything that didn't involve a life or death situation.

"You are very kind," Manuela said sincerely.

Byleth shook his head. "I am just doing my job as a teacher."

Byleth was still a big brother at the end of the day. He was the older, more responsible twin. From what Beth told her, Byleth looked after his family. He took over the cooking, cleaning and other duties around the house that should have gone to the only female in the house. Now, that side of him was starting to leak out the more he interacted with his students. Manuela enjoyed learning more about the man of her dreams. When he spoke freely, he didn't seem like an emotionless doll that he made himself out to be.

"You should use the next week teaching them culinary skills," Maneula hummed. "Prepare the ladies on becoming future wives. Prepare the men with the skills needed to look after their future families. A field trip perhaps with you as the mother hen."

Byleth didn't appreciate being referred to as a hen. "Please, a mother hen has more success with her children than I would."

"Oh, you thought about having kids?"

"No. I do not believe I will be having kids in the near future. I fear that looking after Beth and her future children will be in my bleak future."

He was being sarcastic but Manuela found herself frowning nonetheless. Again, he made it clear he wasn't interested in romance. His lack of a sex drive only made her want him even more. The first person who could get him aroused would most likely get him interested in the concept of romance and kids.

"Hey, don't be so gloomy now. You're still young. You'll meet a nice lady who will love you for who you are, and then you'll get married and have kids."

Byleth tilted his head in confusion. "Father said that I do not need to meet another woman."

"Huh?"

"Father said I could meet a man instead of a woman. I do not know what that means but…"

Manuela wanted to strangle Jeralt. There was nothing wrong with being interested in the same gender but if she wanted Byleth, she had to make sure he didn't look at the male population. There were plenty of handsome men on campus. Byleth might end up falling for them if she didn't do something now.

"Let's not think about it. Here, I made you some tea. Be sure to drink it."

Byleth wanted to reject her offer originally but the older teacher insisted. He grabbed the handle of the tea cup. His body shivered for a moment. He felt something was definitely off. The drink wasn't spiked...right?

"Is the tea okay?"

"Of course it is!" Manuela exclaimed. "I tasted it earlier. It was the best tea I have ever made."

Byleth wasn't so sure. Regardless, he took a sip. His eyes widened. Manuela eyed him eagerly.

"So?"

"It is very sweet," Byleth answered. "...Please do not tell anyone about my fondness for sweet tea…"

This was going to be a secret between them. If Byleth liked something, he had a habit of not indulging in the taste. He would rather drink the whole thing and get upset that there was no more tea later.

It wouldn't be long before Byleth finished the tea. Manuela cheered to herself how she had officially won Byleth's heart.

"Now, darling, who do you love?" she asked in anticipation.

Byleth at first didn't answer. He blinked a few times before looking around the room in confusion.

"...Maybe I should not have drank this in one sitting…" Byleth mumbled.

Wait. Why wasn't the love potion working? She followed the rules.

"Professor Manuela...did the room get hotter…?"

She did not make an apropsidiac...did she? But that would be even better because that meant he could get horny. And if he got horny, they could have sex.

"No, darling, I just made you the best tea you would ever drink," she hummed.

Byleth placed the teacup down. He stood up.

"Suddenly...I do not feel well. I think there might have been something in the tea after all."

He was being blunt about how he felt...but he was supposed to look her in the eyes and want to make out with her!

"...I am sorry, Professor Manuela. May we continue the conversation later today?"

The ex-songstress would not allow it. She had worked hard for the potion (even if she mainly cut corners)! She needed him to confess now.

"But if you leave now, you won't tell me you love me!"

Byleth stared at her in confusion. "Huh?"

"What do you mean. 'huh'? You're supposed to fall in love with me! That's what the tea was made for!"

Why was she losing her temper? Why did she mess up again? Why did Byleth look hotter than before?

"...Professor…"

Byleth didn't get to finish his sentence. One moment he was standing up, ready to leave her room. The next moment, he was tackled onto the floor in an awkward position. If Byleth wasn't feeling sick before, he definitely was now.

"You think I'm going to let a handsome cougar like you leave?"

Byleth noted the tone in her voice changed. Any sort of pleasantry was thrown out the window. Now that he was in closer proximity to her, he could smell the strong perfume aroma emitting from her. Byleth wasn't much of a perfume person, so it overwhelmed his senses.

"I am sorry, Professor Manuela, but there is something I need to attend to…" Byleth started to speak but immediately turned his head when she attempted to lean in and kiss him on the lips. It was an automatic reaction that caused him to stop being polite in an instance. "What are you doing?!"

"No need to be shy. We got all the time in the world."

The cogs in Byleth's brain churned rapidly. He didn't ask her again. With all of his strength, he suddenly shoved her off.

"Get off!" he yelled. He forced himself to stand up despite his wobbling legs.

"Oooh. You're capable of being aggressive. I like that in a man."

The teal haired teacher shook his head in annoyance. "I am sorry but whatever you are trying to do, I am not interested."

Trying to force a kiss should have been a sign to stop. Whatever overcame Manuela ignored the signs that Byleth was clearly distressed of her forcefulness.

"I am capable of being gentle too," she cooed. "Come now. There's my bed."

At this point, Byleth turned his back on the older teacher. He sped to the door and forced it open. He did it just in time before Manuela attempted to pounce on him again. He made sure to hit her in the face as a small revenge for trying to steal his sacred first kiss.

Byleth kept a hand on the handle for a bit before walking away. He sighed, wondering what caused Manuela's sudden moodswing. He couldn't ponder for long because the moment he started walking away from her room, Manuela forced the door open. Byleth felt a terrible chill run down his spine. If he turned around, he would see the predatory look the ex-songstress had.

"Ho-ho-ho. You can't run from me, Byleth," Manuela hummed. "When I'm done with you, you're only going to be singing my name."

Byleth wasted no time getting a head start. He sprinted down the hall with Manuela in hot pursuit.

"Nope," Byleth said as a matter-of-fact statement even though he was far from calm. "Nope. Nope. Nope. No."

"Come back here, Byleth!"

"No."

Byleth's morning was ruined. The worst part was none of the faculty members would find this scene odd at all and try to stop it.

**Author's Note:**

> TBC with 3060 words. Notes!
> 
> 1\. Why would Tomas even allow a book like that? Don't trust him please.
> 
> 2\. I noticed most of the Blue Lions seem to take over the kitchen from the gameplay trailers. It doesn't matter if Byleth doesn't teach them since he'll assist regardless.


End file.
